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I knew I had reached my ultimate peak. The
pinnacle of my emotional restraint and endurance.
Marty said, "Syl, you know that we'll be
fighting these sons of bitches forever, but I think to leave right now will give
them the greatest satisfaction."
I said, "Yeah, I know Marty, but I also
know, at this point, that I am capable of doing something that I'd regret for
the rest of my life. I don't think I want to spend the rest of my life in a prison.
I can't take it anymore. I have to quit, regardless of what jubilation they
might enjoy."
Marty told me to think it over before I made a
decision. Marty said, "Syl, I know how you can react when you are pushed.
If you know you're done with it, by all means, stop if it's going to cause you
to do something where none of us will be able to do you any good."
I left Marty's office and headed for home.
My body was numb as if everything outside of me had no more movement or life. I
went home immediately, but once I got there, I couldn't rest. I was in continuous
sweat and I had sensed a deep desire to kill. I laid there on my bed and tried
to relax and get the chief, Al Berndt and that two-faced ass Klofonda off my
mind. It was impossible, as I laid there and went over the incident again and
again, I became more and more hate-filled. The suddenly, I found myself picking
up the phone.
"Hello Bill," I said. "Is Pete
there?" My friend, Pete Turner, collected a lot of guns and I knew he had a
lot of high powered weapons. The only thing that I could think of was how I
could kill as many of the racist crackers that I could before they got me...
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